Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
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