I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Randomize
