i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
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