he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
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