I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
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