Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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