We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
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