Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
