Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize
