The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
Randomize
