I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize