He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
Sorry my hands just texted you
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
