They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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