So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
Randomize
