I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
Randomize
