I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
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