Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
The adults are the big ones right?
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Randomize
