He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
Just woke up in bed, AC on high, with a fresh pack of smokes, an unopened pint of vodka, and a bag w a beef patty w cheese in it. I think my roommate's like the toothfairy or something. Or that was way more Xanax than I needed.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
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