FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
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