Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
Randomize
