I think scott just propositioned me for sex
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
