Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
P.S. I can't hear my feet
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
You know, be my cock's hype man.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
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