i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
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