I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
