please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
Randomize
