This is not my ceiling
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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