when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
