yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
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