There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
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