And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
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