and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
people are starting to question the shark bite story
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
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