I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Randomize
