i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
Randomize
