Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
Randomize
