Porn is love you can see.
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
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