No awkward lesbian experiences without me
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Randomize
