I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
Randomize
