OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
Why the fuck do they always fuck on couches in porn?
Don't ever text me while you're jacking off. EVER.
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
Never underestimate the power of titties
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
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