are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
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