The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
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