I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
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