on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
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