What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
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