I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
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