the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
I have tasted many bathrooms
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
Randomize
