I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
well I can't set my house on fire every night
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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