Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
Randomize
