so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
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