so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
there is puke in my bra ... again
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
