is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Randomize
