this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
Randomize
