Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
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