some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
Randomize