I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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