eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
Randomize
