he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
