There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
Help me help you realize you are a moron
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
Randomize
