Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
tequila makes me forget i have legs
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
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