i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Randomize
