do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
Randomize
